One month ago, I was picking Brother up from a two week stay at a mental health facility, after he fractured my elbow in a rage. This week, Brother is like a new person. He is cooperative and even…dare I say it…relaxed. On Halloween, without any coaxing, he chose to participate with the rest of us as we went trick-or-treating at a nursing home, and then bowling!
At the nursing home, he really got into making small talk with the patients. It really warmed my heart to see him enjoy “peopling”.
One of the effects that constant anxiety has on Brother, is that his heart rate stays extremely high- like 130. His doctor said today that it is like a person with a more average heart rate would feel after a brisk walk. That takes a toll on the body!
Little AoA is in full “Harry Potter” mode! She has dubbed herself in Hufflepuff, and has character names for all of our family members.
Life is much more relaxed these days. A month ago, I was feeling so hopeless regarding Brother’s prognosis. We have all put a lot of work into establishing new routines and boundaries to help our home be more harmonious and responsive to Brother’s mental health issues. It has not been easy, and a lot of tears have fallen. We are at least, all moving in the same direction.
I could have never imagined how intense Brother’s mental health needs would become by this young age of 12. Early intervention is so important! It may not fix things, but it helps to build a network of support!
When I first sought help, Brother was 7, and had already endured so much emotional and psychological abuse, that it very possibly masked underlying issues. He continued enduring abuse for another 3 years before a stop was put to it by a judge. We are picking up the pieces…
4 thoughts on “What a Difference”
Reblogged this on Survivors Blog Here.
My husband has to take meds to keep his heart rate down for the same reason. Might want to mention if not already on. I’m overjoyed to hear brother has made so much progress. When I stay at a Psych hospital it’s quiet, you have plenty of space or go join in if want. Nothing real exciting happening except TV shows. Maybe that’s the traumatic break in the head chatter and stress he needed. I want to hugs them both and kiss you. You have fought so hard for your children, it shines a light being a parent is hard as hell but you can’t quit and walk away or blame the child.
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Ditto to was M said. I also think you are courageous. I have moments where I think I could have done more to protect my three boys. I wish I would have fought more. I’ve driven myself crazy about it, but I’m slowly seeing the fruits of trying to change the generational abuse that was happening. The boys are in the mid 20s and so far, so good. I am happy that your son was able to really participate in his life. I pray there are many more moments like these.
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You are an awesome mom and powerful woman of God. What you have done to help your son is enormous. Keep fighting for him and he will overcome. I will continue to pray for you all!