This last week was suppose to include Brother having a therapeutic meeting with the dad. It would have been the first time they had seen each other in over a year. It was Brother’s idea, and his therapist was supporting it.
The week leading up to the visit, Brother became extremely depressed- sleeping most of the days and nights away. The morning of the visit, he began to panic. He went to what we call “the upside down”, which includes a catatonic stare and shaking uncontrollably. He went into this state on and off throughout the day.
The visit didn’t happen.
We will keep working on building Brother up to a point where he can face unpleasant things and work through them. He is not there yet. He still needs a lot of support in social-emotional areas.
It took about 24 hours after the missed visit, for Brother to get back to his normal state.
Though we are removed from the daily turmoil of various abuses, the memories don’t go away. They are triggered back to the surface with experiences that are meant only to build tolerance and resilience. I am wondering if we don’t have our limits of tolerance and resilience….if the unpleasant or hurtful experiences go beyond our capacity of resilience….do we not break?