We live in a multi-generational home by choice. When I found myself divorced at the age of 46, with my youngest two children the ages of 4 and 6, it threw me for a loop. To top matters off, the kids would go on, receiving no financial support from their father. One of my fears had come to be… I would be raising two children without support from the other parent. I had already raised my two older children, whose father was a steady source of support throughout their growing years….that had been harder than I had ever imagined it could be.
Thankfully, my parents had relocated to be near me and the kids, so we had them close by. Once the divorce was final, my parents and I made the decision to build one household as a multi-generational family. We all got along pretty well, and our various strengths went together nicely (except for cooking….none of us really enjoy that).
As the AoA kids have grown, their financial needs have changed right along with them. Both kids have regular therapy, weekly and bi-weekly. Little AoA has a tutor five hours each week to help with homeschooling. Both kids take music lessons; Brother plays drums and guitar, Little AoA plays the violin and banjo.
I have been able to let go of most of my hopes and dreams of the kids having a healthy relationship with their dad. There has been one little speck of hope remaining. The psychologist who did our parenting evaluation outlined very clearly, steps that the dad would need to take in order to move toward healthy relationships with the kids. One of those things was to take financial responsibility and support the kids. That has not happened.
I have to resolve this in my heart and mind. Never speak ill of the other parent in front of the kids….now that they are older, they realize for themselves that the dad doesn’t support them. The dad stopped acknowledging my texts containing information I am required to share with him. He hasn’t asked about Little AoA in about a full year now. He didn’t acknowledge when she needed glasses, or when she started homeschooling. He has started communicating with Brother’s therapist about Brother’s needs. He made a weird statement that indicated that he would only try to have a relationship with Little AoA if his relationship with Brother didn’t progress as planned….like I said…. just weird.
I am so thankful that my parents stepped in! They have been a huge blessing and support to me and the kids! I do wish that the kids had the support of their father, as they will always carry that rejection with them.
When faced with life’s challenges, find your army…your army of angels!