Communication that stresses me out

I usually love the give and take of a meaningful conversation, but tonight was different. I had to send the dad an image of a doctor visit receipt for Little AoA today. He is suppose to pay 24% of it (that’s never happened since we divorced in 2014…wait…he didn’t help pay for their medical care when we were married either). Anyway, I sent it to him, and I expected the usually ghosting. Instead, he responded,”when visitation”.

I responded, and entered into a text conversation of sorts. He gave limited pieces of information, withholding important facts that would help in the conversation. The bottom line is, he says he spoke to the visit supervisor, and that the visit was to be this Monday. Well….no one has called me to let me know. It was already after business hours on Friday when the dad shared this information. I called the Supervision center and left a message. I had spoken with the visit supervisor about a month ago, and let her know that Brother would need a “pre-visit” with the supervisor, before the visit, due to his areas of need associated with his diagnoses(Schizophrenia/Autism/ptsd).

Had I not initiated the text about Little AoA, a visit would have been scheduled without my knowledge. I would have looked like I wasn’t cooperating. Of course, I have been lied to and manipulated so much by the dad, that I don’t fully trust that he did what he claims to have done. He is suppose to have learned about the needs of Brother, but springing a visit on him without warning is not a good idea. Part of the problem has been that the dad stalks…shows up in places where he has no business, without communication of any kind. It is quite disturbing.

If the visit planning went as the dad claims, I am concerned that it is not a very professional or reliable center. I can’t see a place scheduling a visit with the visiting parent, before making sure that the child could be there. It is as though the kids and I are already being treated with disrespect, to schedule our lives without consulting.

The truth is, the AoA kids have very busy summers planned out through June!

I have known and accepted that there will be at least two days each month that will have to be dedicated to visits. The supervision center is about an hour away. Once we get some regular, consistent days scheduled, it will be fine. Everyone can plan around the visits.

I pray that I stay strong and advocate firmly and lovingly, for the needs of the kids.

~AoA

9 thoughts on “Communication that stresses me out

      1. exactly what he’s done all along. You know nothing is scheduled for Monday for you would be in the loop. And it would be well planned with brother. Boy’s he’s a hand full. He won’t pay bills or child support but he wants to see the kids. Crazy.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. This wouldn’t be the first time he’s lied to or about a visit center…He sees the kids as possessions, just as he viewed me as a possession (always said, “I have papers on you. You belong to me!”). We are all done with that kind of brainwashing! It is like a stranger having access to the kids…a stranger who is also a murderer and sociopath….just a great place to force the kids to go twice a month. What kid wouldn’t want to do that? What parent wouldn’t want to take their kid to this activity? None? Right👍

        Like

      3. The visits are in a center with a trained supervisor/social worker. I’m sure the therapists will have input- I had the agreement written so that the therapists had to see that visits aren’t emotionally harmful.

        Liked by 1 person

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