Just when I start to think that the dad is ready to step up and be a supportive parent, he takes three steps back into the land of control. When we were first divorced, and the time with kids was split 60/40, the dad would send notes through the kids, demanding that I do things that were well above and beyond my boundaries. For a while, he was using text to make demands. Over time, I gave less and less attention to his demands. When he saw that I was not rattled by his demands, he turned to other people whom he would engage to try to hurt me in some way. He went to my employer and insisted that I was abusing my own kids during the school day while I was at work and working extracurricular events. I was investigated by my administrator. She saw right through his evil intentions. Next was the department of children’s services. Once they open an investigation, the kids are disrupted during the school day, my work days were interrupted, and we had to arrange for home visits. One of the caseworkers who saw through the false allegations, advised me to go to court or move far away from the dad. He said he had seen people like the dad in his career, and that they don’t stop abusing.
These days, the dad tries to use attorneys to intimidate me. He is on his 9th attorney now. The attorney has sent subpoenas to all care providers for the kids. He has made requests on behalf of the dad, but the requests were either completely inappropriate, or things that were already documented in a court approved written agreement.
The kids and I have come a long way from where we were back in 2013, when we escaped. There were many steps backward until 2017, when a judge stepped in to protect the kids by ordering only supervised visits with the dad. There is still a long way to go, and we are not totally free.
Today, for example, I had to notify the dad that I took Little AoA to the doctor for a fever and severe earache that had all lasted over 48 hours. I took a picture of the receipt for the copay, and sent it as well. His response was, “i can not read that”. It didn’t really matter that he couldn’t read it, because he has not helped pay his percentage of medical costs…..nor do I believe that all of a sudden, after six years of not paying, he is suddenly going to realize that being a parent means taking care of your children medically. I did not respond. The receipts only serve to document that he is not doing what he agreed to do. His portion is 24%, which amounts to about $7 on a regular doctor visit. I guess he is showing me that he is in control.