One year after agreeing on a change in our parenting plan, the ex has hired yet another attorney. This makes about his tenth one. The court filings have begun…initial complaint, response to complaint, counter-complaint, motion to dismiss, new proposed parenting plan, motion to withdraw motions…..wow! In between all of this, there are subpoenas, phone calls, emails, and lots of fact checking.
What the ex is trying to do, is set up an exact repeat of what we went through in court back in 2017. It was a full day hearing, in which his attorneys tried to tear apart the kids’ therapists and me. The truth prevailed. This was followed by a full parenting evaluation on both me and the ex. Next came more motions as supervised visits were not being secure enough to prevent secret messages from being sent. Finally, an agreement was reached, mainly putting the future progression of visits under the advisement of therapists. The kids therapists were to have updates from the ex’s therapist, and ongoing input as to his progress- that never happened. The ex was to demonstrate financial responsibility for helping to meet the needs of the kids- that didn’t happen. The bottom line is, a parenting plan can not be changed through the court unless there is a significant change of circumstance. Getting a “re-do” is legally inappropriate.
This dark cloud of litigation appeared over my head on August 1st….our first day of the new school year. It occupies part of my mind with anxious thoughts, which I fight off everyday.
How do I keep myself from being sucked up into the dark cloud? It is not easy. I practice being in the moment…making very short goals. Sometimes, my goal is to get through the next hour or even minute. I get up everyday and go to work, even when my first thought in the morning might be to go back to sleep! I find little moments of joy in my work, and the routine helps me focus on the moment.
I am saddened that the ex has chosen this path to communicate. I had glimpses of hope in the last year…these new actions have crushed that hope. The only people benefitting from the actions of the ex are the attorneys…