The End of My Rope

I thought I had a good understanding of chronic pain. I have read and learned so much over the years from so many blogging friends and coworkers. It didn’t prepare me for this. I haven’t even had the pain a fraction as long as many, and I feel like I am out of my mind! Of course, it could be my bad reaction to steroids in my body too.

I fell on Valentine’s Day, at the beginning of our ice and snow storm that trapped us at home for a week. I knew I hurt something, but thought it would heal.

Fast forward two months, and two covid vaccine’s later, and my back has a herniated disc. I have had a bulging disc before, but this is different. The pain was unbearable and crippling, sending me to the emergency room, where they loaded me up with pain meds and sent me home. Next to go was the feeling in my left foot. It has been gone for 11 days now. I walk with a cane and can’t balance to do anything. I have been trying to go to work some, to finish out the school year, but each day is worst than the last.

I have a plan now, that should let me get off my feet more while I wait for the mri, follow up appointment, insurance approval, and surgery scheduling. How long do bone and joint doctors keep their patients in pain before moving on it? This seems like a long time to me.

My heart just goes out to all of you that live with chronic pain. I am a wimp. My spirit is weakening. After a month of having my mom in the hospital, nearing death several times, I am exhausted.

I am trying to keep some positive in my life to balance it out…..here are some positive pictures of things that I am enjoying as I balance the time….

My new work from home coworker kept me company.
Learning to crochet a little dress for a 5-8 inch doll provided a little challenge and kept my hands and mind busy.

How do you get through the days of pain? Do you get cranky and irritable, or withdraw?

I feel you❤️

~AoA

8 thoughts on “The End of My Rope

      1. Aww, thank you my lovely. ❤️ I wrote the other day about hubby having back pain and screaming 😢 like he was giving birth lol ‘) However, he said it made him think of me living with pain every day and says he doesn’t know how I do it.

        We just have to get on with it don’t we. Nobody like to hear constant complaining.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I mostly stay quiet and to myself when I am dealing with pain- I know it gets old. I have been trying to go to work through this round (teacher), and it has been really hard. I decided to go ahead on medical leave for the last two weeks of school while I await surgery. I don’t think a lot of men tolerate pain like a champ🥴

        Liked by 1 person

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