Daughters Day….ok

I think I have a love hate relationship with Facebook. It’s like being in high school, watching people display their victories. I like to share too, but in our situation, I have to be very mindful about what I post, share, and comment on. We are in a small town, and the dad does not need to know details of our lives, as he likes to take things to court. Until the teens turn 18, in 1 1/2 and 4 years, we will keep to ourselves on social media.

I also cringe when I see people I know, posting hateful things about marginalized groups such as transgender youth. They don’t know anything about what they are talking about. I know that I knew pretty much NOTHING when my teen told me they were transgender. Apparently, a conspiracy theorist has targeted my state, and those who care for transgender youth, and has actually called for people to attack and harass those who provide care to our transgender youth. They are saying that children are being “mutilated”….when actually, surgery is not the standard of care for transgender youth. It is not done on those under 18, except under certain, and rare conditions. Care for transgender youth always starts with therapy. Can you imagine realizing that your brain doesn’t match your body and the social gender norms that go with that body? That is something that no one chooses. These youth have most likely already experienced years of not fitting in with society’s gender norms, but didn’t have the vocabulary or knowledge to communicate it. They have in many cases, attempted suicide or self harmed by the time they finally share what is happening. The standard of care, according to the American Psychological Association, is to AFFIRM their gender, name, and pronouns.

I know I still have a lot to learn. Transitioning is a very slow process, and very individualized. Everyone doesn’t ultimately want surgery. It takes time to accept a changing body, for both cisgender and transgender youth. I want people to just love the teens in their lives….it’s hard enough without the added hate.

I found recent pictures of my daughters for daughters day, but I won’t share them with the people of Facebook. Maybe someday, when some more time has passed. For now, they will be memorialized here as the daughters I love and respect for being kind and compassionate humans. They are all individuals, brave and unique!


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