The Dark Cloud of Litigation

The dark cloud of litigation has been my world for the last year. Any of you who have been continually trailed by litigation, you are heroes in my eyes, especially if you have managed to continue working and caring for a family! While I admit, it does get a little easier and less devastating, the longer it persists. I am no longer afraid as I once was. It is now just a looming dread.

We had a nice agreement in place in July of 2018. The only person who wasn’t following it, was the ex. Nevertheless, he hired an attorney who found a small hole. A hole that common sense should have taken care of. No luck…. this was an opening for an attorney to use the ex’s hate in order to make money. The irony has been, the ex was getting away with not paying his financial obligation for quite a long time. I had to put off hiring an attorney due to finances. When the ex filed a suit against me, it forced me to hire an attorney. So far, the only thing that has been accomplished as a result of all this, is that the ex was forced to pay support. His efforts backfired….he shot himself in the foot.

Hate doesn’t win. The kids are old enough now that they understand the manipulation a little more than when they were very little. They are tolerant of the dad, and want to have a limited relationship with him. I often recall my own relationship with my dad. He was not any part of my life from the ages of 10-18. In hindsight, I think I would have benefitted from the occasional meal with him. That was no one’s fault- that was just the way things were back in the late 70’s.

One would think that by now, seven years after we split, that life would have moved forward and evolved. I watch my 13 year old granddaughter bounce between four different homes. All are family who love her dearly and support her 100%! There is no animosity between anyone. All of the extended family supports and respects each other, and we all work together.

Abusers just don’t stop. They change their weapons as needed. I ignored red flags and thought I was strong enough to endure whatever he could dish out. That didn’t quite work out….

~AoA

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