Last weekend, our town awoke to a town that had been visited by the KKK. Their warning flyers had been affixed to three local, historically black churches, a local food truck, and some other random places.

Within 24 hours, our community had put together a press release, which was delivered from one of the churches. Over 100 people attended. People from different denominations, community leaders, and concerned citizens attended to stand together in agreement that this would not stand.

Within 48 hours, two arrests were made. Guess who just happened to be at the exact location, at the exact time, when the grand wizard was arrested? That would be me! What are the odds of that? I was driving to a friend’s house to do a zoom meeting. I pulled into a parking lot when I got a glimpse of it, and took a few pictures.

The wizard had bail of $4,300,000. He was out on bond by nightfall. The next day, he posted a sorrowful apology letter, stating that that he is not racist, and didn’t realize he was doing anything wrong by posting threatening racist posters onto historically black churches. his social media, which I will not share pictures of due to the extreme racist nature, features him in KKK grand wizard outfit with confederate flags and burning crosses. I hope it gets removed, but I’m not holding my breath.

Free speech really isn’t free. So many equate free speech with hate speech. I fear our freedoms are becoming skewed and removed under cloak of darkness. People are free to yell through bullhorns to me and my children that we are going to hell, but a drag queen in a story character costume can’t read a book to children. In my observation, the most threatening speech usually wins, and the peaceful speech backs down for safety. I continue to observe and document as we watch our rights transform before our eyes.

~AoA

I have worked at three Pride festivals so far this June. There is a new tactic being used by protestors, which I find to be sneaky and cruel. These people attend the events with their cameras and microphones, and even “PRESS” badges; acting as though they are supportive allies of the LGBTQ+ community. They “interview” festival goers; sometimes asking questions meant to get an emotional response. Those who aren’t up on conspiracy propaganda and far right media, wouldn’t really know what they were doing.

They take the footage that they get, and edit it into scathing reports that they post on twitter, YouTube, TikTok, instagram, and even more specifically on news media like The Daily Wire and Infowars! If they are asked to leave festivals, they start yelling and rambling about their First Amendment Rights. Some may start yelling that they are being sexually molested! All of this is for sensationalism that they will present to their audience online.

There is nothing like enjoying myself at a festival, and having to listen to someone yelling into a bullhorn within 20 feet of me, about how everyone there is going to hell. There was much more hate spewing from the bullhorn which included yelling of body parts and specific sex acts.

Here we are in a state where hate won through our legislature. Transgender youth have to travel to other states for care, they can’t play school sports on the team of the gender they are presenting as, and books are being removed from schools. I will never understand how people can openly hate on others simply for existing. I have heard the stories…the family who moved to another state after their house was shot at by haters simply because they have a transgender child. The family who sends their kids to live with relatives in safe states.

Our country should not be like this! The Land of the Free and Home of the Brave has gone amuck! My little family is planted here, and child custody with my teenagers prevents us from even thinking about moving for the next four years.

We should NOT have to safety plan, to simply exist in our state!

~AoA

Being an LGBTQ+ family, celebrating the beautiful community that adds so much interest and diversity to our lives has become very important. I have been involved on the ground floor of establishing family support groups, and our local pride organization. June is the busiest month, as little festivals pop up all around us. My support groups try to set up at any that are within about a 45 minute drive from our home base.

We always have little free things to give out, like stickers, flags, and pens. We also use this platform to let people know that they are not alone, and invite them to at least be on the contact list for upcoming support meetings and events.

The best part for me, is hearing peoples’ stories and sharing my own family story. Families need to know that loving our children through all of their changes, is the best thing we can do! Sadly, many families end up turning away from lgbtq+ family members once they share who they are and how they feel. There is a group called “Free Mom Hugs” that shows up at Pride events, offering hugs to those who may have been turned away from their families. It is one of the most beautiful things about Pride events.

This year, it is me and Little AoA who attend. My 17 year old, who is my transgender daughter, and reason for advocating for the lgbtq+ community, is afraid to attend events because of all of the violence, threats, and loose gun laws in our state. I will keep standing up for a safer community for ALL!

We do have our protestors at every event. I will discuss them in a separate post. They come in many forms and pose many kinds of threats to the events. There is a group of them that actually go into the events as if they are Allie’s, and then bully and name call the festival participants. Those are the worst, in my opinion.

Here are a few pictures from the Pride events we have attended so far!

Happy Pride!

~AoA

Love people for who they are, not for who you want them to be.

I started the motherhood journey with no idea of where it would lead. The only wish I ever had for any of my kids, was for them to be happy in life. I hoped that they would all follow their passions, and make their lives doing what they enjoyed.

I realized over time, that I learned more from my kids than I ever could have imagined.

We have one more hurdle to freedom. When Little AoA reaches 18, my story can be an open book for the world. Just four years away. Until then, we live as though we are in some sort of witness protection program. We do not let people know what we are doing, or about groups we are involved with. The reason- a lifetime for the kids, of being stalked and traumatized by a sociopathic parent. Though they are safe, the threat is always there, looming in the background.

Love unconditional- seeing kids through it all.

~AoA

My state, Tennessee, has been under the microscope lately. I have lived here for the last 28 years. I have raised kids here, worked here, and made my home here. This week, I have considered leaving this state.

Those of us who live here, have known of the racism and hate against marginalized groups. Those of us who don’t share those beliefs have basically lived and moved under the radar. I know, when I am at work, or in a large group; that I stay to myself. The majority here flaunt their hate whenever they have the chance to look powerful.

My teen kiddos don’t like to do anything much anymore, that involves being around people who are interacting. Part of the reason is that they both live with complex ptsd; a result of having to spend so much time in fear as they were forced to parenting time with an abusive parent. Now that more of our state’s hate is showing, it has gotten worse. We have had to find places and activities that we enjoy a little. Mostly, the 17 year old likes going to the movies, and the 14 year old likes going out for ice cream (using a drive thru). I involve myself in support groups and non-profit boards. At least I get to work on projects with others sharing the same goals.

We had two young legislators expelled from service this week, following a school shooting and the organizing of groups of young people protesting for more gun control. Right now, Tennessee is a place where anyone can obtain a gun, and carry it around without question. There was a third legislator up for expulsion as well, but she was not expelled. The color of her skin was different than the two young men’s. Tennessee’s racism showed in a big way.

Tennessee is now more divided than ever. Some cling to the “violation of the rules of decorum”, which is how they disguise their racism. Once someone claims that it was right for them to be expelled, there is no need for further conversation. Just a few weeks ago, a legislator proposed bringing back lynching. This is so crazy, in 2023 for these words to come from someone who is suppose to be a leader.

Of course, the other issue making our state, and others, unsafe for families like mine; is the ban on transgender care for youth. As you can see from the map, there are very few places left, where transgender youth can obtain care. What message does this send to the youth who are already facing adversity in their families, communities, churches, and schools? As I research and learn more and more about transgender youth, and the science behind gender dysphoria; I see how abusive it is to deny the care they need.

I wish I could make a safe space in our community. My hope is for families to have a place where they can build community with other families who don’t fit in the box with the majority of people in our area.

~AoA

Most of our southeastern states have now passed laws banning the medical affirming treatment of transgender youth. There is nowhere to go. Many families with transgender children are moving away. Parents and doctors no longer have the right to follow best practice guidelines from both the American Psychological Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics.

As an advocate, ally, and parent; I am at a loss. They won….I can’t believe that in my free America, hate won. Rights have been taken away, as our lawmakers seem to be seeking genocide of transgender persons. I’m sure they would argue that they are “protecting the children”. The truth is, many children will suffer. They know that they are being targeted- it is everywhere.

All of the laws our legislators can think of, will not change the fact that we have transgender youth and adults living in our states. They are here. Transgender families are here. You can accept diversity and inclusion, and embrace it; or you can try to dim the beautiful lights who are our transgender siblings.

I stay and I love……The AoA family will continue to reach out to help others who find themselves battling for freedom, seeking safety, and just wanting to be seen and accepted for exactly who they are.

~AoA

I have set the goal. It is time to share my story in hard copy form. I feel like enough time has passed, and the kids are close enough to 18, that the dad would not have time to go through legal channels to try to hurt them.

The kids do not know every little detail yet, but they have figured out on their own, that the dad is mentally ill/personality disordered. They have used word like psychopath, sociopath, and abuser, to describe him. They have identified their own PTSD and triggers going specifically going back to things that happened with the dad. I did not have to ever say a negative word about him. When the kids started figuring it out, I validated their feelings and ideas.

I decided to use different names for everyone, and write under a pseudonym. With the dad still living and breathing in the same town as me, I think this is best. If I end up reprinting later, and he has passed away, I may come out of my closet.

I was really motivated when I saw someone doing a printing of the history of the road and area where the dad’s family settled. So many people were interested in that history, and think it is so special. My AoA kids are the last living direct descendants of that family tree. That family was about racism, abuse, narcissism, and hate. They would not lift a finger to help a stranger. They would not help anyone unless there was something BIG in it for them. They used people.

Now as for a title, I am a little stuck. I have always wanted the title to include “Army of Angels”, but it needs more…..

I looked back at all the blogging I have done since 2013, and I am so glad I documented so much in this way. This will help me remember the timeline of events much more clearly! Blogging is the best!

~AoA

My heart and mind are full tonight. Since January, transgender youth and lgbtq drag performers have been under attack from our state government. It is not looking like a positive outcome for the lgbtq+ community. I am already hearing from families who are trying to figure out how they can move to another state so they can care for their kids.

In my smaller circle, some of my friends are grieving with health issues of loved ones. My mom has been upset because her doctor finally got serious about her not driving. While I understand, I am sad about this too, because my mom loves her independence.

With my mom not driving, this means that caring for my aunt, who is on hospice in a nursing home, is in my lane now. I went to see her today, to take her the Coke she loves. She didn’t know who I was. I had to go through time, starting with my mom, and reminding her of my mom’s two girls, Kathy and Cheryl. When I saw that she remembered that, I told her that I was Kathy. Then she lit up. When it was time to go, I gave her a kiss and held her hands. She didn’t want to let my hands go. My heart was just breaking.

On a lighter note, I will share a few happy pictures.

From a life full of trauma with a sociopath, to a life full of love and support. I have been doing a lot of thinking about that journey lately. Twenty-four years of my life were tied up with the sociopath, and while the contact has essentially ended for now, the threat is still there. I think it’s time to preserve my story in a book. I can’t believe I survived and came out better than before. I rose from the ashes like the Phoenix.

~AoA

My great state of Tennessee has this week, begun its legislative session by criminalizing anyone who offers gender affirming care to minors (under age 18), including parents. This bill was first on the legislative agenda, and has now passed through the House and the Senate. It’s next stop is the Judiciary Committee. I have never been big into the political workings of state government. Things just always seemed to level out through checks and balances. Never in my lifetime, do I remember seeing bills that take away rights and freedoms, especially when it comes to medical and mental health treatment. Basically, they are going against years of research and professionals in the field, stating that the local government knows better than everyone else.

I am a founding member, and on boards for non-profit support groups called PFLAG, and Transparent. We support families who find themselves navigating the world as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, parent, family, and friends. This new legislation has me thinking of how to best support our transgender families, when the proven way forward has been blocked and criminalized.

I have been raising my own transgender teen, and know firsthand the struggles that these kids go through. They often don’t know what is happening, or why they don’t feel right. It is more intense than typical adolescence and puberty. Where adults who are faced with these feelings, many self medicate with alcohol or drugs until they figure things out. With youth, self-harm appears to be the coping mechanism for many. I have entered a world where I now know families who have lost children to suicide. It is real.

I dare say that our lawmakers will have blood on their hands. Families will be in need of support. It’s one of those times when I wish I could do something, but it is too big.

I have one small thing in mind that I can do. I have knowledge of homeschooling in my state. I can support families by offering information, to start. There are so many types of homeschoolers, doing it for different reasons. My focus would be those who need the mental health recovery from public school, and our LGBTQ+ families that are dealing with bullying and discrimination in the schools. I have started planning a bit, but am having some challenge completely wrapping my mind around it.

~AoA